That moment when we just wake up,

It’s almost magical. He seems vulnerable, innocent, and just sweet. He woke up with a smile on his face, and just hugged me. Which woke me up, but when I wake up, I just mumble baby words or something. How cute. LOOL.

A peaceful home,

This was what I found written on my door at my old house today. Small bubbly handwriting. My handwriting. I used to write what I really wanted on this door, but then I’d erase it ‘cause I felt silly for doing so. But I couldn’t bare to erase this one wish of mine because there really wasn’t a single peaceful day back then. My parents threatened to burst out in a rage of nonsense and nastiness every second, so it was just David and me against the world. I remember this one time, my daddie almost left us; he stuffed all of his belongings into one laundry bag and was about to take off. Little second grader Elaine begged him to stay. “Please don’t leave us daddie, who’s going to take me to school tomorrow?” I remember writing in my journal about this incident. I loved art & writing back then because I got to express myself in any way that I wanted, and today I still do. My “best friend” found this journal and simply laughed at me. I am grateful to my grandparents for helping my parents to get over their differences, and for being there for David and me when my parents failed to be. I’m happy that my parents worked hard through out it all to get to where they are at today.

I’m taking an AP test tomrw, and here I am blabbering away. Okay, byebye!

I’m upset with my life at the moment

because I have a loving boyfriend, and I seem to never appreciate him enough. All I do is fall asleep at all the wrong times. I just hug my totoro and take naps when I’m upset. I look forward to going home after school, but all I do is procrastinate. No matter how hard I try not to, I always end up clicking on an Ellen video. And you know what sucks? I’m aspiring to be a fashion designer/merchandiser. And I can’t draw. I have all these great ideas in my mind, and I really want to see them come to life. But I just can’t put them down on paper. Why did I pick stupid AP environmental. I should have done Industrial Design. That was where my interest was in, but no. I had to pick environmental because I wanted to give myself a chance to experiment and try something new. Sometimes, I forget to breathe because of all this nonsense, and I find myself gasping for breath. I’m only 17 this year, but I’m exhausted from life.